Let live!!!
She decides,
to go with the wind,
carrying the pain and the cries.
She is scared,
She fears the road,
She weeps and she screams.
She tries to move,
with the time,
with the wind,
and no sign.
She senses,
a new breeze,
coming her way.
She is confused,
She has to decide,
She wants to disappear.
She has no option.
She decides,
to go with the wind,
with the future.
A future,
worth living,
worth risking.
Life isn’t bad!!!
There were times when my days used to start with checking his sweet caring sms. Calling each other was the first thing that we did and make and change plans just so that it could suit ours. But now, it’s not the same anymore. Now I don’t even keep the cell phone beside me before sleeping.
Every corner of the city I go out reminds me of you. Movies, eat-outs, malls, roads and streets.. all just remind me of you. It is not that I miss you, it is just that I have seen so much of this city with you that every corner reminds me of you. The only thought coming into my mind then is, do you think the same?? And then I get so deep into thinking what you would be doing now, do you think of me, do I remind you of anything, anything at all… and then there are tears rolling down my eyes… I hate myself.. Why do I think of you.. why the hell .. and the next minute I am scolding you, cursing you and wishing you never existed. How I wish I could do Ctrl+X everything about you forever. I know you really cared for me, it wasn’t fake, but it wasn’t strong enough to be held together for long.
I hope this is the last post that I would ever write in relevance to you. I have tried to keep myself away from your memories, your news, your life and you. And I only hope that my future commitments keep me super involved and busy that I have no time to even think of you.
I believe being single has its own advantages, especially after you are out of relationship. You think different, you feel mature, you feel you know men much better now, you have an urge to do something different no matter what one would think. In simple terms, you feel free and you know that there are several other issues/commitments to be dealt with which you gave a low priority. And who else can better understand this but for me. I now have several things to set straight and I am clear on what I want from my life and how to get it. I feel good. Thankyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu……
It is finally over!!!
I don’t know if I took the right step or not. It is for the future to decide. This decision is completely mine and I am going to live with decision forever.
Few days back, I made an attempt to convince my bf once. He said he would try again but would make no promises. I gave yet another try with my parents and it all seemed to be going very positive. My parents accepted and approved for this relationship. But somewhere deep down the heart, there were questions to myself – Is this right? Should this happen? Will we be happy with each other? Are we really meant for each other? Is all this worth it? Does he really think the same?
Even after parents approval, I did not feel the same passion or excitement or happiness from him which I had expected. I felt he was confused about this relationship.There should be no confusions in love. I gave him another chance to think and decide on what he wants. It has been 3 days and he is still unsure of what he wants. But I could not torture myself with this confusion and the questions n thoughts disturbing my mind day and night. He seemed very calm. His reaction forced me to think once again. After all, this decision would be for lifetime. The decision was either to go with him or go away from him, and this time it had to be forever.
I was confused. I was not able to decide what should and would be best for our future. It was not about me being happy with him, but would he be happy with me? Would he ever regret this decision? And he remained unsure. It had to end and today it has ended peacefully. I had to hear what my innerself was trying to tell me and make him realize what was right for him. And so, it ended forever. And he still remains unsure.
“Sometimes we need to hold our head high, blink back the tears , and just say GOOD-BYE.”
mindsparkle
