tune kyu na kaha…
maine keh to diya
par tumne samjha nahi
dil ki baatein jo thi
woh kahan mit gayi
tumhara haal na mera sa hai
tumhari khushi mein bhi gham sa hai
na hum keh sake
na tum samajh paaye
dil ki baatein jo thi
woh dil mein hee reh gayi
tumne apna jahan hai bana liya
kho se gaye ho naye jahan mein tum
baat adhoori chod gaye ho tum
iska ehsaas na ab tumko raha
phir se aaye ho nazar mein tum
dil mein uthi hai chahat phirse
jaane kyu yeh umang ab hai chidi
jab iska na matlab koi raha
lamha beet gaya
ab na ho phir pehal
kuch baatein adhoori hee sahi
Let live!!!
She decides,
to go with the wind,
carrying the pain and the cries.
She is scared,
She fears the road,
She weeps and she screams.
She tries to move,
with the time,
with the wind,
and no sign.
She senses,
a new breeze,
coming her way.
She is confused,
She has to decide,
She wants to disappear.
She has no option.
She decides,
to go with the wind,
with the future.
A future,
worth living,
worth risking.
Showers again….
It’s quite some time that I even logged into wordpress account. Off late, I have been quite occupied with my work and several other things and thank God for keeping me so busy, inspite of the fact that I have been frustrated to an extent due to my work. But I still want to thank you for keeping my mind off the thoughts that tortured me.
It is true that time heals everything, and I have changed with time and so have my thoughts. I am no more the same person I used to be while I was in school, college or a few months back. And yes, I like the change. I feel good about the circumstances that have got changes within me. And, I feel good about myself. I feel I have crossed several milestones in my life.
I have always asked God for the better things in my life, and he has been too generous towards me. And as well made me realize of the pros and cons of my desires:). I just want to thank you for keeping me going strong through the times when I had lost all the faith in humanity and in you. And you never fail to get back my faith in you by giving me the best I ought to have.
Thank you for everything and love you for all the happiness you’ve got in my life. Be with me always. Love you.
Keep the faith!!!
We make mistakes. We hurt others emotions knowingly and unknowingly. We believe our life is more important than other’s. Sometimes we even annoy others for no reason. We scold people. We curse people. We blame others for our incomplete dreams and aspirations. We believe we go wrong because of others influence on our decisions. We make our own decisions and yet fear the outcome. And there are many like these people, including me. We all want the best for ourselves and we do realize what all we lose on our way of getting the best. And then we hate ourselves and believe that everything happened for the best, which I can never figure out, no matter how much I try.
I have crossed twenty five years of my life and am still not sure what I want from my life. Do I really want anything out of my life? This question keeps haunting me several times and I never find an answer to it. All I want is to be happy and just happy. And this happpiness is very very very expensive which I only happen to get in bits.
But now I’ve realized that happiness is in being happy with others. Your happiness has no meaning when it hurts others. I’ll try not to live a lie again. And today is the day I turn my life around the way it should have been. I have realized that I got to move on and be whom I am. And I am gonna do everything I can.
New Year!!!
Finally, the year 2009 has arrived. Wishing all the living creatures of this universe a very happy new year. May God bless all of us with lots and lots of happiness.
I had been desperately waiting for the year 2008 to get over, and for the new year to begin. The past year has not been very nice to me. I have had some really bad moments both personally as well as professionally which will always remain as a part of my life no matter how much I try to escape. All what I can hope is for some peace and happiness this year and immense growth 
. Oh God, if you exist, please do remember that I exist too.
The new year has kicked off just fine, exactly the way I wanted it to. May everything get peaceful for me as well as everyone around me.
Stranger!!!
I don’t know whether this happens only with me or have you also been in such situations??? Sometimes, some stranger just keeps passing by you very often making his presence felt, for no reason. But you do have some wierd thoughts running through your mind which also gets a naughty smile on your face.
As of now, I am thinking the same. There is a guy who seems to have been crossing my mind very often lately. It was almost two months back when I first saw him at a lounge. Our eyes met once again while we came out of the lounge’s restroom, and he smiled..a crooked smile though and he looked very cute thennnn. And then I see him once again in my company’s parking lot and surprisingly, we acknowledge each other’s presence just through our eyes. Then we again crossed at a coffee shop, but this time I guess he did not see me. And just a few weeks back he happened to overtake my vehicle and did turn his head back and gave me a look. I don’t know if it was done on purpose or was just an accidant. And the last week, he appeared all of a sudden just to help me with the door at my workplace. And now, guess what.. he just happens to sit a few seats away from me. I now have to everyday cross by his desk to move around. Ain’t it strange??
It is strange … and I know there is no reason for this. We are just employees of the same firm with no other reason. It’s funny and just a thoughtless thing to have even passed my mind. But only such junks keep crossing my mind. Uh……. empty mind is a devil’s workshop!!!
Life isn’t bad!!!
There were times when my days used to start with checking his sweet caring sms. Calling each other was the first thing that we did and make and change plans just so that it could suit ours. But now, it’s not the same anymore. Now I don’t even keep the cell phone beside me before sleeping.
Every corner of the city I go out reminds me of you. Movies, eat-outs, malls, roads and streets.. all just remind me of you. It is not that I miss you, it is just that I have seen so much of this city with you that every corner reminds me of you. The only thought coming into my mind then is, do you think the same?? And then I get so deep into thinking what you would be doing now, do you think of me, do I remind you of anything, anything at all… and then there are tears rolling down my eyes… I hate myself.. Why do I think of you.. why the hell .. and the next minute I am scolding you, cursing you and wishing you never existed. How I wish I could do Ctrl+X everything about you forever. I know you really cared for me, it wasn’t fake, but it wasn’t strong enough to be held together for long.
I hope this is the last post that I would ever write in relevance to you. I have tried to keep myself away from your memories, your news, your life and you. And I only hope that my future commitments keep me super involved and busy that I have no time to even think of you.
I believe being single has its own advantages, especially after you are out of relationship. You think different, you feel mature, you feel you know men much better now, you have an urge to do something different no matter what one would think. In simple terms, you feel free and you know that there are several other issues/commitments to be dealt with which you gave a low priority. And who else can better understand this but for me. I now have several things to set straight and I am clear on what I want from my life and how to get it. I feel good. Thankyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu……
Choose your own road….
It’s strange. It’s strange to see the changing colors of human being. Yesterday, after several days, my manager made me feel wanted. He was doing everything possible to trap me into his words. He wanted to desperately pull me into an initiative which would have benefited him as a manager, but not me, where I am still in the stage of trying to make my profile and career strong.
He has been extremely insensitive and unconcerned towards the progress of my career, and time and again, he has proved the same. Yesterday he went furious over me for considering another offer over his. He never expected me to do that. He believed he has played a clever game and has already trapped me in his game. And he could not believe that I actually said a NO to him as I had been working under him for several years. He was quietly angry over my decision and was trying all he could to hide his anger. The problem was he had already committed to the senior managers even before my approval. And he strongly believed that I would not oppose him. And now it was costing him his word of commitment.
But, I had my own reasons to not accept his offer. First of all, the other opportunity was much better and would add more value to my profile rather than what he was offering. I even considered several individual’s opinion, and they all felt the same. And secondly, I have know my manager for around two and a half years, and I have seen his selfish nature of getting his work done. I had already lost respect for a manager like him, and I could not let him again play with me. This was my opportunity and I chose the best for me.
I have to be patient!!!!!
Whatever happens, happens for the best…. this is one dialogue which everyone says after something bad has happened, or when you are most disappointed with something which u didn’t expect to happen. We all believe in dreams and we all make efforts to fulfill our dreams in our own way. Most of the times, these dreams just remain as dreams and we are forced to accept destiny. In-spite of all our efforts and commitment, some of our wishes remain unsatisfied. And with me, it seems to be happening more than often.
Today, I find myself in a situation where I feel I am most confused. I don’t know where I am going. I don’t know what I am doing. I feel motiveless. I don’t know why, but seems like everything is going wrong at this time. I can feel a change in attitude and behaviour within myself. I can realize how rude and annoyed I’ve been with people who are so important to me. I know things will get alright with time and I need to be patient, but at this time, patience is something which I have the least. It kills to be patient. It hurts to accept the way things are going on. Reality isn’t beautiful and I know it can get worse. I wonder what’s more to come.
The moment of Truth..
I am waiting..
I don’t know why and for how long but I am. I try to avoid it, but the thoughts pour in and I have no control over it. I know there is no hope now, but it is hard to believe. I don’t understand why am I still troubled when I can clearly see that there is no chance, in fact there should be no chance.
I have always been a strong person and sometimes I really am grateful to God for giving me that strength, but then why is it that I still cry for loss at times. Why do I see my pain in other’s pain. I don’t want to live with this pain all my life. It is not what I want out of my life. I know I have to take out all these thoughts and feelings out of myself, but this is not possible. I have no option but to live with this all through my life. And the thought of this makes me hate myself. The thought that I cannot take out something from myself which I badly want it to happen has left me with no choice.I feel .. I don’t know what.
I see you going far away from me, yet you are so close. Your thoughts are always fresh as they were then.Although the number of days have increased,I feel it is just like yesterday. I try to keep your thoughts out of my head and then they gush in bringing back all your memories. I know I have to help myself but I find all efforts in vain. I wake up everyday morning reminding myself that I have to stop now, but the sunset doesn’t bring any hope. Have I moved on? I don’t know…
I don’t know how happy you are with the decision you have taken. I know you are moving on or perhaps moved on. All I can say to you is “All the best” and “Thankyou”.
Thankyou for making me realize that nothing lasts for ever.
Thankyou for making me realize that I can live without you.
Thankyou for making me realize that love does not exist.
Thankyou for making me realize that my dreams were just mine.
Thankyou for making me realize that I have to trust no one.
Thankyou for everything and may God give you the strength to make right decisions as you have always done. God Bless you.
mindsparkle
