Get stoned!!!
How do you feel when you know your ex has moved on and is not single anymore.. good, bad or nothing??
When I got to know, I wished I felt good or at the least nothing.. but no.. it wasn’t so.. I tried a lot to convince myself that this is how life is; girl – no relationship is pure and it is all fake. But instead, I felt bad and worst of all I felt sad for myself.
I remember, once when we were just having a conversation, and I asked him ‘would you get involved with another girl if ours didn’t work out’ and he replied ‘not for atleast five years’:). Believe me, I did feel bad then, but there was no point in bringing it up.. whatever be it, he is already into another relationship and guess what .. it’s hardly been a year.. well this is what life is and this is how men are..:)
It’s funny to see how human mind reacts to certain things. It’s funny to see how human mind has no control over their emotions. I don’t blame him for anything now. It’s true that time and distance heals everything. But still there are times in your life when the past keeps cropping up and you can’t erase everything out of your life completely. It’s like a part of you has been stolen forever and yet you want it. You act hard and harsh but you never forget what you really are.
Let live!!!
She decides,
to go with the wind,
carrying the pain and the cries.
She is scared,
She fears the road,
She weeps and she screams.
She tries to move,
with the time,
with the wind,
and no sign.
She senses,
a new breeze,
coming her way.
She is confused,
She has to decide,
She wants to disappear.
She has no option.
She decides,
to go with the wind,
with the future.
A future,
worth living,
worth risking.
Showers again….
It’s quite some time that I even logged into wordpress account. Off late, I have been quite occupied with my work and several other things and thank God for keeping me so busy, inspite of the fact that I have been frustrated to an extent due to my work. But I still want to thank you for keeping my mind off the thoughts that tortured me.
It is true that time heals everything, and I have changed with time and so have my thoughts. I am no more the same person I used to be while I was in school, college or a few months back. And yes, I like the change. I feel good about the circumstances that have got changes within me. And, I feel good about myself. I feel I have crossed several milestones in my life.
I have always asked God for the better things in my life, and he has been too generous towards me. And as well made me realize of the pros and cons of my desires:). I just want to thank you for keeping me going strong through the times when I had lost all the faith in humanity and in you. And you never fail to get back my faith in you by giving me the best I ought to have.
Thank you for everything and love you for all the happiness you’ve got in my life. Be with me always. Love you.
Life isn’t bad!!!
There were times when my days used to start with checking his sweet caring sms. Calling each other was the first thing that we did and make and change plans just so that it could suit ours. But now, it’s not the same anymore. Now I don’t even keep the cell phone beside me before sleeping.
Every corner of the city I go out reminds me of you. Movies, eat-outs, malls, roads and streets.. all just remind me of you. It is not that I miss you, it is just that I have seen so much of this city with you that every corner reminds me of you. The only thought coming into my mind then is, do you think the same?? And then I get so deep into thinking what you would be doing now, do you think of me, do I remind you of anything, anything at all… and then there are tears rolling down my eyes… I hate myself.. Why do I think of you.. why the hell .. and the next minute I am scolding you, cursing you and wishing you never existed. How I wish I could do Ctrl+X everything about you forever. I know you really cared for me, it wasn’t fake, but it wasn’t strong enough to be held together for long.
I hope this is the last post that I would ever write in relevance to you. I have tried to keep myself away from your memories, your news, your life and you. And I only hope that my future commitments keep me super involved and busy that I have no time to even think of you.
I believe being single has its own advantages, especially after you are out of relationship. You think different, you feel mature, you feel you know men much better now, you have an urge to do something different no matter what one would think. In simple terms, you feel free and you know that there are several other issues/commitments to be dealt with which you gave a low priority. And who else can better understand this but for me. I now have several things to set straight and I am clear on what I want from my life and how to get it. I feel good. Thankyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu……
What goes around…comes around…
Life is so uncertain. Things change within moments and our life takes a sudden diversion to an unknown road which we are not prepared for. We live through it whether we like it or not. In the end it is for us to decide on how we dwell with what is coming our way.
We all have been told that we should have certain plans and goals, and we should work towards acheiving that one goal. But why do we forget, that our life is not in our control. I believe, take life as it comes and never expect anything. At this stage of my life, when I turn back and see, my life has never been the way I planned or expected. I never dreamt that I would be here writing all this one day and about all this. I never imagined myself in a situation like I am going through now.
Like all, I too had dreams and wished and prayed for them to turn into reality, but they didn’t. This is not the first time I prayed, neither this was the first time that my dream was not fulfilled. But I still don’t stop. Today, my mistakes are solely my mistakes and I don’t blame anybody for this situation. But at the same time, I feel I am blessed. I am blessed coz I know that my life has something different in store for me. And I was going against the wishes of my destiny. And destiny always wins over my plans. It’s amazing to have our lives controlled by something someone unknown. Something which cannot be described and someone who does not exist. Yet we still make plans and we all strive hard to fight against the so called destiny.
Sometimes, I feel life is just about playing hide and seek with destiny, where the destiny always wins. Nothing comes free and neither does life. We need to pay back everything. It’s all karma. And nobody has an option when it comes to life. But the importance of life lives in how best we make of what is chosen for us coz whatever has to happen will happen.
mindsparkle
