The day – today – madness
What a day i have had today, worth putting down i guess. Everything is just going on so strange, and so unexpected that I have concluded that today it’s going to be a bad day in every way.. To put it down, it all started with an accident. Although it was a minor one but the impact seems to be never ending.
As usual I had left home for work, and I happened to bang into one beautiful big car. I do not know how and when it happened, but it happened. The guy inside the car went on screaming and I stood behind just telling “I am Sorry”, I really don’t know how I happened to hit the car when everything was going so smooth, and the entire crowd was staring at me as if I appeared nude… Believe me, I hated being the centre of attraction at that point of time, inspite of the fact that the car was completely fine and there wasn’t any deformation. The man inside yelled for few seconds and moved ahead.
And when my bike moved, there was an ugly noisy sound which left me startled. I didn’t know what had happened to my bike, and the second it made that sound, I felt all the more humiliated. I somehow managed to push the vehicle to the opposite road in order to find a mechanic, but in no gain and only pain. I don’t know what struck my mind and I started riding again only to hear the loud stretching noise again and everybody was turning and looking at me making me feel so embarassed. I immediately got down and started pushing for close to half a kilometre in search of a mechanic which left me really tiring. I parked my vehicle near a building and walked to the nearest mechanic and got my bike repaired (all he had to do was get the front part of my bike in shape using pliers) and after that it was perfectly fine, but the rest of my day does not seem to be going as normal.
Since the accident, I kind of seem to have a strange feeling within me, something like as if the blood within me rushing in an opposite direction. I entered the office only to find my access blocked as I had not swiped the last evening. Then I pinged an unknown person for tea instead of my friend, to which he replied “I don’t mind” 
. Then I happened to find that every month an amount of Rs.500 is getting credited into my FoodPlus card which I haven’t used it since ages. Likewise, I am going around dropping stuffs, moving up and down the building, including my account getting locked (which was just a call away to unlock though). But this day seems to be very very strange. Ho ho ho… I just received a call (wrong number) to deliver packages from Hyderabad:). May be I am exaggerating, but things are really abnormal today.
Deviled!!!
Sometimes, some people are so annoying. They just can’t stop praising themselves. All they need is someone to whom they can tell how great and lucky they are. And you’re there listening to their shit with just a hmm…. and it sucks, especially when your mind is playing games and you are trying to get your priorities clear.
And such people just bump in at the most unexpected time and irritate you, thereby making you realize what you have lost and what you don’t have. All what I feel like telling them is “I hate to have this blasted discussion”. It is that minute of time when you just want to close all your doors at their faces and say good-bye. All what you can hope is that you get one stupid call and escape them for the moment. But none of such things happen, and you are there with a big artificial smile and saying hmm.. right… yeah… and feel so pathetic. You can feel your patience being tested and sense how fast you are losing it.
Oh!! My life!!:)
Stranger!!!
I don’t know whether this happens only with me or have you also been in such situations??? Sometimes, some stranger just keeps passing by you very often making his presence felt, for no reason. But you do have some wierd thoughts running through your mind which also gets a naughty smile on your face.
As of now, I am thinking the same. There is a guy who seems to have been crossing my mind very often lately. It was almost two months back when I first saw him at a lounge. Our eyes met once again while we came out of the lounge’s restroom, and he smiled..a crooked smile though and he looked very cute thennnn. And then I see him once again in my company’s parking lot and surprisingly, we acknowledge each other’s presence just through our eyes. Then we again crossed at a coffee shop, but this time I guess he did not see me. And just a few weeks back he happened to overtake my vehicle and did turn his head back and gave me a look. I don’t know if it was done on purpose or was just an accidant. And the last week, he appeared all of a sudden just to help me with the door at my workplace. And now, guess what.. he just happens to sit a few seats away from me. I now have to everyday cross by his desk to move around. Ain’t it strange??
It is strange … and I know there is no reason for this. We are just employees of the same firm with no other reason. It’s funny and just a thoughtless thing to have even passed my mind. But only such junks keep crossing my mind. Uh……. empty mind is a devil’s workshop!!!
Madness!!!
Oh my God!! I hate this. I just hate this about myself. I hate the fact that I am confused. I am a super confused nut. I should be taken to the top of a hill and then pushed. I should be left hanging in the sky. I should be crucified. Why am I so confused?
I just don’t know what am I doing? I know I am taking hasty decisions. After all what is happening, I need to punish myself, hurt myself the most. I want to see myself in pain that I cannot put it in words. Why do I still think about what is gone? Why do I still think about something which cannot come back? No….. I don’t need anyone, but then why am I not able to avoid it. It hurts, it pains and it cries. Oh hell, I just hate this about me. I don’t know where to go, i dont know what i want.. i don’t know if i even want anything. i don’t want anything. please don’t force me to make decisions. Set me free. Leave me alone. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………………………….
mindsparkle
