Showers again….
It’s quite some time that I even logged into wordpress account. Off late, I have been quite occupied with my work and several other things and thank God for keeping me so busy, inspite of the fact that I have been frustrated to an extent due to my work. But I still want to thank you for keeping my mind off the thoughts that tortured me.
It is true that time heals everything, and I have changed with time and so have my thoughts. I am no more the same person I used to be while I was in school, college or a few months back. And yes, I like the change. I feel good about the circumstances that have got changes within me. And, I feel good about myself. I feel I have crossed several milestones in my life.
I have always asked God for the better things in my life, and he has been too generous towards me. And as well made me realize of the pros and cons of my desires:). I just want to thank you for keeping me going strong through the times when I had lost all the faith in humanity and in you. And you never fail to get back my faith in you by giving me the best I ought to have.
Thank you for everything and love you for all the happiness you’ve got in my life. Be with me always. Love you.
The day – today – madness
What a day i have had today, worth putting down i guess. Everything is just going on so strange, and so unexpected that I have concluded that today it’s going to be a bad day in every way.. To put it down, it all started with an accident. Although it was a minor one but the impact seems to be never ending.
As usual I had left home for work, and I happened to bang into one beautiful big car. I do not know how and when it happened, but it happened. The guy inside the car went on screaming and I stood behind just telling “I am Sorry”, I really don’t know how I happened to hit the car when everything was going so smooth, and the entire crowd was staring at me as if I appeared nude… Believe me, I hated being the centre of attraction at that point of time, inspite of the fact that the car was completely fine and there wasn’t any deformation. The man inside yelled for few seconds and moved ahead.
And when my bike moved, there was an ugly noisy sound which left me startled. I didn’t know what had happened to my bike, and the second it made that sound, I felt all the more humiliated. I somehow managed to push the vehicle to the opposite road in order to find a mechanic, but in no gain and only pain. I don’t know what struck my mind and I started riding again only to hear the loud stretching noise again and everybody was turning and looking at me making me feel so embarassed. I immediately got down and started pushing for close to half a kilometre in search of a mechanic which left me really tiring. I parked my vehicle near a building and walked to the nearest mechanic and got my bike repaired (all he had to do was get the front part of my bike in shape using pliers) and after that it was perfectly fine, but the rest of my day does not seem to be going as normal.
Since the accident, I kind of seem to have a strange feeling within me, something like as if the blood within me rushing in an opposite direction. I entered the office only to find my access blocked as I had not swiped the last evening. Then I pinged an unknown person for tea instead of my friend, to which he replied “I don’t mind” 
. Then I happened to find that every month an amount of Rs.500 is getting credited into my FoodPlus card which I haven’t used it since ages. Likewise, I am going around dropping stuffs, moving up and down the building, including my account getting locked (which was just a call away to unlock though). But this day seems to be very very strange. Ho ho ho… I just received a call (wrong number) to deliver packages from Hyderabad:). May be I am exaggerating, but things are really abnormal today.
Stranger!!!
I don’t know whether this happens only with me or have you also been in such situations??? Sometimes, some stranger just keeps passing by you very often making his presence felt, for no reason. But you do have some wierd thoughts running through your mind which also gets a naughty smile on your face.
As of now, I am thinking the same. There is a guy who seems to have been crossing my mind very often lately. It was almost two months back when I first saw him at a lounge. Our eyes met once again while we came out of the lounge’s restroom, and he smiled..a crooked smile though and he looked very cute thennnn. And then I see him once again in my company’s parking lot and surprisingly, we acknowledge each other’s presence just through our eyes. Then we again crossed at a coffee shop, but this time I guess he did not see me. And just a few weeks back he happened to overtake my vehicle and did turn his head back and gave me a look. I don’t know if it was done on purpose or was just an accidant. And the last week, he appeared all of a sudden just to help me with the door at my workplace. And now, guess what.. he just happens to sit a few seats away from me. I now have to everyday cross by his desk to move around. Ain’t it strange??
It is strange … and I know there is no reason for this. We are just employees of the same firm with no other reason. It’s funny and just a thoughtless thing to have even passed my mind. But only such junks keep crossing my mind. Uh……. empty mind is a devil’s workshop!!!
Choose your own road….
It’s strange. It’s strange to see the changing colors of human being. Yesterday, after several days, my manager made me feel wanted. He was doing everything possible to trap me into his words. He wanted to desperately pull me into an initiative which would have benefited him as a manager, but not me, where I am still in the stage of trying to make my profile and career strong.
He has been extremely insensitive and unconcerned towards the progress of my career, and time and again, he has proved the same. Yesterday he went furious over me for considering another offer over his. He never expected me to do that. He believed he has played a clever game and has already trapped me in his game. And he could not believe that I actually said a NO to him as I had been working under him for several years. He was quietly angry over my decision and was trying all he could to hide his anger. The problem was he had already committed to the senior managers even before my approval. And he strongly believed that I would not oppose him. And now it was costing him his word of commitment.
But, I had my own reasons to not accept his offer. First of all, the other opportunity was much better and would add more value to my profile rather than what he was offering. I even considered several individual’s opinion, and they all felt the same. And secondly, I have know my manager for around two and a half years, and I have seen his selfish nature of getting his work done. I had already lost respect for a manager like him, and I could not let him again play with me. This was my opportunity and I chose the best for me.
Do you hate your manager?
When my friends told me that they were being troubled by their managers, I didn’t believe them until the day it happened with me. Most of my friends have had steamy conversations with their managers or their senior peers. And today, I can understand what they were going through. In today’s world everyone wants to do an MBA, everyone wants that management position. That is the position we all aspire when we all know that you are being hated and cursed the most in that position.
My first job was with a small firm, where I was not being paid. I got to learn a lot from my employer there, especially my manager and my team lead. My manager was a great source of motivation and inspiration and so was my Team Lead. I was barely there for 2 months as I soon got an offer from a well established MNC and with a much much better pay. I just couldn’t stop thanking God for giving me such an opportunity. But, I never knew what was in store for me in the coming few years. I am and still working with this manager for the past two and a half years, and believe me I have understood the head and tail of a manager’s mentality.
Who comes first for a manager – an employee or a client? If I have to answer this question, then I would say an emplyee should come before their client. In fact, I believe a perfect manager is someone who understands his employee’s aspirations and provides him with opportunities which would help his career. But this is not how the manager’s are. I understand that they have commitments and responsibilities, but does it mean that employee’s are their slaves.
I joined this firm with many dreams and considered this opportunity as a stepping stone for my career. But I have realized that I had been used for their own smooth business. I was softly denied to supress my career aspirations, and it struck me a little late than always. The corporate life is no longer a place for employees with passion to evolve. It is all about contacts and position. People respect position not talent or commitment. Well, I have witnessed the changing behaviour of my manager ever since I joined this firm. Although I do not hate my manager, I definitely have no respect for him.
mindsparkle
